I hate my life

So to begin with the overwhelming fun that was going to happen. A) I finished my 5th boulder problem at fike and its so rediculous it great. B) Climbing in Grand Teton NP and Yellowstone NP c) Climbing at Smith Rock Oregon

Unofortunatly upon close inspection and c omparison of my two wrists it appears i am missing a muscle in my left wrist. This means that the pop i heard while cooking dinner last week was the tendon tearing. This means that i cant fucking climb because i have a fucking torn tendon. Which means i wont be able to climb anywhere for the rest of summer.

I want to cry. So much training so much effort to get good and yet again god takes a crap on me. Isnt it bad enough i have to wear knee braces to go backpacking. Isnt it bad enough that both my shoulders are fucked up and there is nothing anyone can do about it. But hey at least im not dead or have some life threatening illness. But still i am completely and utterly devastated.

And i dont know when ill be able to go see my doctor or have surgery cause from what i can see ( or rather cannot see) i have no hint of a muscle where one should be which means the hold tendon tore. Fucking a. God damn it i hate this fucking bull shit.
:-(